GUESS WHAT?

I LOVE TO TRICK MYSELF INTO EATING HEALTHY!  IT'S FUN, AND IT'S A SIGN OF IMMENSE MENTAL STRENGTH.

OH, WHAT'S THIS YOU SAY?  WHY, IT SURE LOOKS PRETTY!

YEAH!  THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS PRETTY!  I CALL IT "GIVE YOUR MOM/DAD A BLACK EYE UNTIL SHE/HE MAKES YOU AN AWESOME SALAD BLACK-EYED PEAS SALAD."

MAYBE IT'S A LENGTHY NAME, BUT IT SURE DOES MAKE UP FOR PRONOUNCING ALL THOSE SYLLABLES WITH ITS AWESOME TASTE.  THE BEST PART IS IT'S LIKE NO CALORIES.  SO YOU'RE ALMOST STARVING YOURSELF!  J/K J/K.  STRONG PEOPLE DON'T STARVE THEMSELVES, 'CAUSE THEN THEY CAN'T BEAT UP POTENTIAL ASSAILANTS.

Recipe:

A can of black eyed peas
Some balsamic vinegar (two tblspoons)
Garlic, two cloves
Onions, a cup-ish?
Tomato, a cup-ish?
A cup of water!

Step One: Take an Ambien.  This will make the process much more fun.
Step Two: Strain your black-eyed peas and cut up your cloves of garlic.
Step Three: Put the garlic, the cup of water, and the black-eyed peas into a pot and let simmer for TEN minutes.
Step Four: Go outside and smoke a cigarette for TEN MINUTES
Step Five: Your peas are done! Mix them into a bowl with the tomatoes, onions, and vinegar!  Cover the bowl and CHILL THEM OUT overnight.
Step Six: The next day, put your mixture, which is now so delicious, over a salad.  I guess you could use this as a dip for chips, but that's not very healthy!  But whatever, it doesn't matter; either way you are STRONG!!!